THE CRUSHER

I forgot what the movie was called, but I will refer to it as "The Crusher." God damn was this movie scary. As mentioned in one of my previous posts, I spent almost every weekend of my childhood at my grandparent's house. My Grandads let me watch whatever I wanted on Saturday morning TV. It was usually saturday morning cartoons, however this one particular day I was watching a movie instead, this movie was "The Crusher."

I may or may not be making things up in my mind, but this is how the memory comes back to me. The dude, The Crusher, had metal plates on his head, and was very ugly, very tall, and had big boots on. The dude had huge hands. He would crush people's heads with these hands of his. They were huge. He smashed people's fucking skulls. Holy shit. Imagining the amount of force one would have to use to smash someone's skull with their own two bare hands; mindfuck.

The dude hid behind shower curtains, under those merry go-round things on the playground (which now that I think about it makes no sense seeing as how there is no room down there, especially for a huge dude), and in other weird spots.

Needless to say this has fucked up my life. I can't have the shower curtain closed ever for fear of someone being on the other side. I always check under things, just in case.

Best Field Trip Ever

Fifth grade, at Valparaiso Elementary school, we were going on a field trip to Sea World, and we got to stay there over night! Everyone knew, and this was like the pinnacle of the entire year. Everyone waited till the day. I'm pretty sure I got zero sleep the night before and zero sleep on the bus as well. But god I was so stoked.

We get there, and we have to basically learn some dumb stuff about underwater animals and what not. Whatever, it's worth sitting through. We get dinner, and just straight chill it. Now all the fifth graders are split up into three groups. These groups sleep in three different locations; The Sharks, The Dolphins, and The Manatees. I was really hoping for the Sharks. I was really really hoping for the Sharks. The shark group was all picked, and gone. I was pissed. Next I really wanted the Dolphins. Of course not. I got to sleep in front of the Manatee tank. I wasn't too stoked, but whatever. I was sleeping at Sea World!

I am still too stoked to sleep, so are my friends. Most of the kids, and even the chaperons are asleep. We start running around and jumping over the sleeping kids like hurdles. I'm surprised none of us landed on them. It was so much fun though. I'm pretty sure we got caught being goofy and was told to go to sleep. We went to sleep.

Wake up. We hear some rules, of course I didn't listen to any of them, being as punx as I was. All the groups get split up into smaller groups. My little group sprints to The Journey to Atlantis. Finally, we were free and able to do what we wanted. We got there and were the first kids in line. I shoved my way to the front and sat in the front of the cars.

That was the best ride I had ever rode at Sea World, so we rode it a couple more times, till we were told by our chaperon that we couldn't ride it any more. Whatever, fuck her.

The rest of the trip doesn't make a good story. Getting splashed by Shamu, and seeing all the other aquatic animals. I believe my favorite were the penguins.

Here is my blog update:

Hide n SeekI

I used to go to Day Care every day after school, and I always enjoyed it. We would always go on field trips and whatnot. This one time we went on a field trip to a park, that was really only like fifteen minutes away. I don't even know why we couldn't have went to a park that was at the beach. That would have at least been a little bit cooler. Well, so we're all hanging out. Some of us decide to start playing Hide n Seek. We all call out, "Not it!" I wasn't it, yet.

We were playing, I was on a pretty good streak of not getting caught. I finally got tagged. I was it. I was not wearing shoes for some reason. It was all grassy, I'm sure it felt good on my feet. Well, I was it. I had to count to some ridiculous number like one hundred, out loud. Base was a tree, therefore I was leaning on this tree counting to this preposterous number.

I didn't realize but I was standing in the biggest ant hill that has ever existed. And if you know anything about ant hills, you know that if you are standing in them, the ants come out to see what's up. Well, I had tons of ants on my legs. Hundreds. Really, not even exaggerating. It was horrible. I was getting bit, I was not very happy. I probably starting yelling or crying or something to get someone's attention. They came over and poured water all on my legs to get the ants off.

They called my parents, and they came and picked me up. My mom sat me down in my kitchen and had a big bucket. She filled it with hot water and told me to put my legs in it. God this felt so good. I just sat there for a while and let my legs soak.

Worst field trip ever.

'Nam must've been hell..

I don't even remember this picture. But I'm sure it was a good day.

Well, onto the story. You can't tell, but if you were to somehow make the environment in the picture rotate to the left you would probably see where my pool would have been going. It was not there yet, but that's where it was going.

I remember I was very stoked on getting a pool and I watched the guys come in and out of my backyard creating this wonderful thing in my backyard. Well, one day, I decide that's it's probably a really good idea to go into the pool, while it was still being built. In the deep end, there was some muddy water. In the shallow end, it was completely dry.

I was just walking along, down towards the deep end. You know, just hanging out, acting cool. I am talking to my mom. She is talking to me. I am not paying very much attention. All of a sudden, I slip, fall into this big puddle of murky ass gross water. With who knows what in it. it was horrible. Unwanted wet and unwanted dirtiness. Worst pool memory ever.

B-M-X

So a skate park opened up in the town of Niceville, Fl a while back. It was around the same time my dad opened up his skate shop. It worked out well. However, I could not skate, so even though I could get a bunch of free shit, so I never really took advantage of it all and just kept riding my bike. I sucked at that too, but at least I could do some stuff.

Well, one day some friends and I were all hanging out at the skate park, and I was doing some jumps on my bike, and for some reason this girl named Felicia was filming me with her video camera. I made the first one, turned around and tried to do it again. Failure would be the word to describe what was about to happen. I made the jump, but landed a little funny, legitimately flew off my bike and went face first into the pavement. Keep in mind that Felicia was still filming.

My front right tooth practically bounced into my lip then into the concrete. I was bleeding so much. My tooth was chipped at the bottom, and cracked in about the middle of the tooth. I was bleeding so much. I was crying so much. I was screaming so much. I was yelling, "Fuuuuuuuuuccckk," while crying. I believe the word shit was also incorporated.

The girl that was filming fucking taped over me actually falling with me on the ground, bike still on top of me, screaming, yelling, and crying in pain. Not like she could have just kept filming or anything. NO. She had to film over the probably more important part. Last I heard, she still had the footage. If there is any way I can get a hold of it, I will post it.

I had to go to the doctor's and get some stitches. We actually went to the like doctor's office and they straight up told my dad and I that they were closed. Needless to say we never went there again. We went to the emergency room. I got stitches. A couple of months later, my tooth was turning dark. I had to get a root canal. Worst shit ever. And, basically half of that tooth that got fucked is now fake. I can't feel temperature difference in it. All I can feel is vibration running through my tooth.

I have not ridden my bmx bike in a really long time, nor will I, I'm sure.

The First Time

The first time I smoked weed. I was 13, maybe 14. I spent almost every single day of the summer at my friend Kris Bundy's house. He was my best friend of the time. We would skate, we would jam (play guitar and bass and try to come up with rad punk songs), we would play video games, we would just hangout and do whatever. I always knew he smoked weed, but it wasn't a big deal. One day he asked if I wanted to smoke. Being the early teenager that I was, I caved and said, "Sure."

He had some in the top dresser drawer in his room, he also had a Victorias Secret catalog in there. He started going around the house trying to find things to make a pipe. He ended up finding a pen, a plastic top to a perfume bottle and some tin foil. It worked, I guess.

He started to break up all the weed and then proceeded to put in this contraption that was basically a really shitty one-hitter. I guess when you're a teenager, you do what you have to do. He handed to me, and lit it for me. I took the biggest hit, even though he told me to take it easy. I did not heed any warning. I felt like I was almost going to barf, but I did not.

Immediately after we went skate boarding, bombed some hills. God, being so young ruled so hard.